Sunday, October 07, 2007

Juan- Understand me Please!

Wow, where should I begin? I know many of you didn't agree with the choice I made...I mean, look what I tried to do in the end myself! But I don't think the "normal" straight world understands where I was coming from. What was my impetus for my actions.

It's simple. Love.

You can march on it, pull out the Bible and thump me with it and call me all kinds of horrible names, but in the end, I am in love. With Loam. With Zeus. Period. And this love I have for these two individuals, this need to sacrifice myself so that they could continue to exist as they always had is why I made the choice I did.


Look, Zeus and I are in a committed relationship and I'm willing to put our loving relationship next to ANY hetero relationship out there. I know we'd win hands down. Yes, I know what the Bible scriptures say about homosexuality, but the reality is...I'm 100% gay down to my core. I KNOW this.

Should I have tried to conform, deny who I truly was to fit in? Come on. Which is the worse sin? Marrying a woman knowing I want to love a man like myself; lying and denying my true feelings over and over and eventually spiraling into the nearly palpable hate and disdain I see emitted between husbands and wives on a regular basis? Or being in a loving relationship, showing and giving my authentic self?

I know you don't get me, my relationships, but I'll say my actions were the epitome of unconditional love. I was a sacrificial lamb so others could live.

Can you say the same?